Q&A

Q: I am a 20 years old college student. I have wet dreams most of the days. I am highly worried because of this problem. Please suggest a remedy to solve this problem?

A: Wet dreams are a part of growing up process. It is a normal physiological phenomenon. You do not require any medical help.

Q: We are married for two years and have a beautiful daughter. My wife is 30 years old and she seems disinterested in sex. We sometimes don’t have sex for two months at a stretch because she says she is not in the mood and she finds it difficult to get aroused. I have tried fantasies, adult movies and all sorts of techniques hut it does not have the desired effect. She says she has never climaxed, even by way of masturbation. Kindly advice?

A: Your wife’s lack of /low interest in sex may be due to a combination of the following Physical Problems:

  • Any chronic diseases, hormonal imbalances, usage of prescription drugs, alcohol and narcotic drug addiction etc.
  • Inadequate foreplay
  • Poor interpersonal communications/ relationship
  • You ejaculating prematurely.

I suggest you meet a competent Sex Therapist nearest to you to find a solution to this problem.

Q: I am a 58 year old man. My wife is 52. We have an active sex life. But I am unable to satisfy my wife according to her needs. What should be done to get a strong erection? I am not hypertensive or diabetic. I don’t drink or smoke. If Viagra is the solution, can you suggest the dosage and direction?

A: There are various reasons for not getting a rigid erection. These can be either physical or psychological. Unless he causative factor(s) is identified, I will not be able to suggest an appropriate management strategy. Since your age is 58, you may be undergoing ‘Andropause’. In this condition there will be an age related decrease in the testosterone levels. This condition requires Androgen Replacement Therapy, provided there are no contraindications. Yes. ‘Sildenafil Citrate’ (Viagra) may be the solution. But this medicine has to be used only under medical supervision. I suggest that you consult your doctor in person.

Q: I have had sex with three different women with a two days gap between each act. Now I am worried that I might get AIDS. Please advice.

A: Yes, the chances of contracting HIV infection are more when you have sex with multiple partners. But the qualifier is that one or all these partners should already be infected. If none of them were infected then your risk is nil. If you had used condoms then the risk is negligible. However the best way to know is to get a blood test known as HIV-DNA/ PCR done. This special test can detect the presence of the virus in a person’s body as early as 72 hours after the sexual act. Please understand that ‘Sex is fun when it is only with one’.

Q: When my penis gets erect, it suddenly ejaculates. I tried having intercourse twice with my girlfriend. The first time, when she held my penis in her hand, I ejaculated. The second time it happened was when I touched her vagina, I ejaculated once again. My penis size is about four inches when erect and two inches when it is normal. Kindly let me how I can control this process?

A: You seem to be experiencing ‘Premature Ejaculation.’ This may be due to high levels of sexual excitement in you. Sex appears to be a new experience for you and the thrill of obtaining the forbidden (Premarital sex) is resulting in high levels of anticipatory anxiety. This will eventually result in premature ejaculation. Do not get worried. As you get used to sex on a regular basis you will be able to delay ejaculation and enjoy the pleasures with your partner. Your penis size seems to be within the normal range. All that a man requires for satisfactory sex (for both partners) is a two inch or five centimeter long penis that too after an erection.

Q: I am 44 year old man. After our second child’s birth, we use condoms regularly. Recently, I used a condom with a cream to increase the erection time. It worked. Are there any side effects in using these condoms?

A: It will be difficult to answer your question without knowing the nature and contents of the cream. If your primary objective is to avoid a pregnancy then using a condom makes sense. If your objective is to delay ejaculation then I would recommend that you consult a specialist in Sexual Medicine.

Q: I am a 27 year old housewife. My husband is loving and caring. Our relationship is very satisfying. Recently, I had a strange dream in which my husband’s friend approached me and we had sex. I enjoyed an orgasm in my sleep. I’ve never fantasized about anyone except my husband. But now, I feel guilty and worried. Please explain the meaning and reason for that dream?

A: It is very difficult to interpret dreams, especially the ones with sexual content. It may be that you are bored with your current sexual life with your husband and hence subconsciously looking for ways to spice it up. At the same time you might have been, of course subconsciously, attracted to certain attributes of your husband’s friend. It is obvious that when these two combine there is the perfect setting for your dream. However, you need not feel guilty. Behavioral surveys clearly indicate that many married women fantasize about other men. It is not harmful as long as it remains in the domain of dream/fantasy only. I suggest you seek the help of a Psychoanalyst. Also try and improve your marital sex life by trying different sex postures and different settings.

Q: I am newly married 24 year old men. I have sex with my wife with or without condoms. She had a regular monthly cycle, but this month she missed her periods. We don’t intend on having children for at least two more years. Please suggest what to do?

A: First of all, find out whether your wife is pregnant or not. Pregnancy can be confirmed with a home pregnancy test kit. If she is pregnant, then consult a Gynecologist immediately and undertake a ‘Medical Termination of Pregnancy’ for your wife. If she is not pregnant, the nonappearance of periods may be due to other causes which a Gynecologist will tell you. If you want to postpone parenthood, then you have to use any one of the available family planning methods. You can choose a convenient method in consultation with your doctor.

Q: I’m a 30 year old married man. I get a white secretion on the head of my penis below my foreskin often. I get red spots on it and the secretion becomes sticky emitting a bad odour and causes irritation too. I clean it whenever it irritates and then the irritation goes away. However, the cycle starts again. Do I need to see a doctor? I also feel that I ejaculate prematurely. Is it related to the above problem?

A: You seem to have a condition known as ‘Balanitis’. In this condition the head of penis (glans) is inflamed either due to infection or irritation. Apart from other reasons, Balanitis itself can result in premature ejaculation. I suggest you consult your doctor in person.

Q: I am a 27 year old married guy. My wife is 26. We have been married for two months. My problem is that my penis is small in size. My wife always becomes upset due to this. Also, what is best contraceptive method?

A: You have not mentioned the size of the penis. In general all that a man requires is a 2 inch or 5 cms long penis that too in erect state. I do not think that your wife is upset because of your penis size. She must be upset because she is not satisfied with the sexual act. This may be due to anything from premature ejaculation or inadequate foreplay to forcing her when she is not in the mood. It can also be because she suffers from insufficient lubrication, delayed orgasmic response or sexual pain disorder. Without a proper diagnosis it will be difficult for me to offer any worthwhile advice. I suggest that you consult your doctor in person.

Q: I am a 27 year old guy. I have been masturbating for the past five years. The problem is that whenever I masturbate, the next day I suffer from back pain and a dull pain on the left side of the stomach. Moreover, one of my testes is smaller than the other. I am getting married next year. Will I be able to satisfy my wife?

A: In general, masturbation can not cause any of the problems you mentioned. Your back pain may be due to other causes like faulty postures, lifting or carrying heavy weights, wrong sleeping postures, problems of the spine or constipation. Usually there will be a slight difference in the sizes of testes. Pain in the left side of stomach may be due to amoebic infection or constipation. Without a personal physical examination I will not be able to offer you any worthwhile advice. I suggest that you consult your doctor in person.

Q: I am 23 year old woman, married six months ago. Despite all our efforts, my hymen remains unbroken and I hardly feel anything during sex, except a little pain. Any suggestions?

A: How do you know that your hymen is still ‘unbroken’”? Just because you did not experience great pain, you cannot assume that your hymen is intact. The right person to determine the status of your hymen is your doctor. All this becomes significant only when you are sure that sexual intercourse with deep vaginal penetration has taken place. Otherwise you may have to consult a Sexologist to make sure of marriage/sexual consummation.

Q: We are happily married. Can we have intercourse during my wife’s periods? If not, why? Secondly, I wish to know whether ‘Today’ is a good contraceptive?

A: Yes. You can have intercourse during your wife’s menstrual period provided you don’t have any genital infection. You also should ensure that you don’t have Hepatitis-B and HIV which can be passed on through your semen. ‘Today’ is a good contraceptive. But you should learn to use it properly.

Q: I am a 48 year old man. About eight years ago I was with a woman who was a bit boring. I did not enjoy her company at all. One day, when I tried to mount her I realized that my erection was weak. Since that day I have never had a good erection. I masturbate and that way I get a semi hard erection but not hard enough for intercourse. Could you please help me.

A: Prima facie it appears to me that your problem is due to ‘performance anxiety’. To begin with, uninspiring company with the ‘boring’ woman affected your erection. The failure on that day must have created anxiety, subconsciously, and you have fallen into the trap of negatively spectating your own erections. However, as you are 48, I suggest that you rule out physical causes like diabetes, hormonal imbalance etc. Some of the anti blood pressure drugs are known to adversely affect the erectile response. I suggest that you discuss your problem with a Sexologist in person.

Q: I am an oversexed married man of 37 and have been married for the last eight years. My wife is not really interested in sex, so we come together just once a week. But I am not satisfied with her sex appeal or arousing style. I masturbate everyday and end up feeling nervous and weak. Please suggest some means of increasing semen stock in my body and getting more power.

A: On what basis do you consider yourself ‘over-sexed’? You and your wife seem to be having different (sexual) response and frequency levels. I suggest that you consult a Sexologist in person. Semen has nothing to do with sexual capacity. So don’t worry about that.